speed

My weekend was really crazy. I was just supposed to hang out with friends over my place and the beach, but we ended up in Vegas. I miss the randomness in life and I guess my friends did too that's why we ended up in Vegas. I was supposed to be with C, but he ended up filling in for a co worker who had an emergency. There are so many what if's in my mind right now with everything that happened in the trip.

We left at midnight and ended up in Vegas at 4 a.m. We slept utnil 10 a.m. and hung out at the strip the whole day. We gambled, ate, hung out at a chill out resto to talk. Ahh.. something that I really miss doing since I've been here. We left Vegas at 2 a.m. Monday and I drove. I was so careful about driving and keeping under the speed limit, but got pulled over for over speeding. Now I have a record, ACK. I will go to traffic school to erase it off my driving history, but this will mean going to traffic school after work or on Saturdays. I am praying that I can take this class online.

This was the first time I got pulled over and it was a realy scarey experience. It's like you want to lie and beg, but you can't. Geezeee...... While the CHP was checking out my insurance, registration, and driver's license the song I shot the Sheriff by Bob Marley played. What a coincidence. One of my friends panicked and yelled " fuckin kills the music" hhahaha... that was the humorous part... But the fine I'd be paying isn't funny. I'm expecting to pay 200 dollars. Fack.. I called CHP today and asked what else I can do to NOT pay. Basically the officer told me there isn't anything I can do except to wait for a letter from them. I think he was trying to make me feel good by saying in the area that I got pulled over, people from LA area get pulled over because they get carried away with the highway and not used to the desert. CRAP.

My friends and I talked about getting pulled over more on the way home - analyzing and making humor out of it. While on the 15 heading to the 10, there was a really big accident. Three cars were involved and one of the turned upside down and it was all messed up. Not only did the CHP( a different one thank God) stop traffic, we were the car at the very front of the row of cars. We saw the paramedics pumping one of the peopel's stomach probably doing cpr or something like that, people were on the road bleeding, people crying, etc. It seemed everything happening was going so fast from the random trip to vegas, having fun, heading home, getting pulled over, seeing a tragic accident... I asked myself what it all could be?

After passing by the accident sight, I told my friends maybe God must be giving us signs. Maybe for me, he was telling me to slow down. I honestly have been doing so many things that I forget to pull myself together and just relax. Lately, it's all been fun and kind of irresponsible in some ways. I asked myself if I am burnt out from work and I know I'm not. I guess I missed being carefree and I overdid it, so a higher power stepped in to give me a good knack in the head before it got too late.

So right now, I am at home thinkin...... does this mean that my relationship with C should take a back seat? I have kind of forgotten myself since I've been with him. I forget my priorities because it seems it was all fun and in some sort of way irresponsible that I/him/we were doing.

So I think I should give myself some alone time now. It's not what I want, but it's a must. I think I needed the random Vegas trip and everything that happened to realize what I had planned and seemed to have forgotten in life.

I will talk to Corie tonight and I know it's not going to be something he wants to hear.

Wish me luck.